Baby Brain

Baby is definitely on my brain, but that's not what I'm talking about. Baby Brain is a condition that sets all pregnant women apart from the norm. Before I actually became pregnant myself, I always thought that Baby Brain was just an excuse pregnant women use to get away with being spacey. Now, even pre-baby I tended to be somewhat spacey on occasion already – it doesn't take much for me to have a “spacey day.” I thought, well, I've done that before – how much worse can it really be? Ah, let me tell you... much, much worse.

At work, I normally start the day super focused. I'll get my coffee (under 200 mg or decaf, OF COURSE), enjoy the crisp spring sunshine, and head off to work ready to conquer the task list that lies ahead. But something happens around 10:00. I've answered emails, met with my coworkers, and then one thing, ONE TINY THING can set me off for the rest of the day. Today, I was working on our employees' work schedule for three weeks out, and I flipped the calendar page and Freaked. Out. Seriously, ask my coworker! I'm pretty sure she would tell you that my eyes got huge, I grabbed the table, and looked like I just saw a centipede on my nose. I saw... JUNE. It's almost June!! The thought of that floored me (and to be honest, I'm still floored and trying to recover) for the rest of the day. You know what that means? June will be over in the blink of an eye and then summer will be almost over, and then our son will be born at any minute!!!! I wanted to scream, “I'M NOT READY!!!”

Okay, I know that sounds extreme, but this is just 10 seconds in the brain of a pregnant lady. For the rest of the day, Baby Brain led me through a journey of heavy-heartness where I felt like I was going to cry with no emotional stimulation whatsoever to super-spaciness where I would be counting to four – FOUR!! - and I would lose count. (Wait, Was that orange or yellow? Was I counting East or West? Did I count East yet? Okay, 4 people upstairs – no 3. No 4. I still have to count East. I'm hungry.)

 Somewhere in the midst of this mess, I got myself good and overwhelmed enough to warrant the warning signs of a panic attack, which I haven't felt in months. Thanks to an understanding workplace, I was able to walk outside and lay in the grass under a bright green tree, watching soul-cleansing wind blow the leaves of weaping willow trees in the distance across a country field. I needed that. Once I got home, I printed out my two registries, plopped my pregnant self on the couch with a giant mason jar of water (summer survival tactic, really), and proceeded to make notes next to each item as I confirmed to myself that yes, we will have everything we need before Gavin arrives. And we don't need that much right away anyway. All will be well.

And what was the reason for my panic? Remember back at 10:00 when I flipped the calendar from May to June? Yep. That's it right there. I'm due in September.

Traditions & Activities - Apple Baking Day

When we went to the pumpkin patch last week, we also bought quite a few pounds of apples for an apple baking day with my mom. So yesterday, my mom and two little brothers spent Saturday at our house baking. Mmm... the house smelled so good! We made apple pies, apple dumplings, and yummy applesauce. Thankfully, we had enough apples to freeze a few pies, dumplings, and containers of apple sauce to eat throughout the fall and winter. But of course, we just had to bake a few right away, because who wants to peel, cut, and season apples all day without tasting some warm, gooey deliciousness?

My little brothers were such a huge help. I don't know how my mom and I would have done it all without just collapsing on the couch half way through (which we did at the end anyway). They were so excited to help that they even volunteered to peel the apples while mom and I walked down to Market to buy a few more apples for the applesauce. Now when I say a few, I mean a whole box! The shop owners at Market were very generous, though, and gave us a a great price. It was fun showing mom Market, as she had never been there before. There are rows and rows of stands with fresh produce, mostly local or organic, baked goods, ethnic foods, flowers, and all kinds of handcrafted items. I love going to Market for the energy, community atmosphere, and refreshing anticipation of life that seems to pervade the place. It was such a beautiful, crisp fall day to walk through the city, too. It brings such peace into my being to step outside and breathe in the cool air, feeling the sun on my skin. I'm such a sucker for scarves, a flannel shirt and puffer vest, too. Just a perfect combination for a memory-full day with my mom and brothers.

With flour and sugar all over ourselves and the floor, gashes in our fingers, the freezer stocked, and the house smelling like apples and cinnamon, we popped The Grinch (the new one!) in the Playstation and cuddled up on the couch while the pies were baking for a warm-fuzzy inducing Christmas movie. I am so thankful for days when we can gather with family to enjoy a cozy day of baking, activities or whatever brings us together. We need each other. That's why we were given family, and I don't want to forget that. It can be so easy for us to go about our daily schedules, staying inward, doing what needs done and what we want to do on our own. It's easy to forget about those who love us and who we love because we're so wrapped up in our struggles or whatever we're trying to figure out. Days like yesterday remind me that without our loved ones being around us, our lives are really in vain. I'm so thankful that God gave us two wonderful families that are now our whole family. 

After working all day, my husband was so excited to come home to an apple dumpling baking in the oven, just for him. I love when I have the opportunity to do special things like that for him. He works so hard and is so loving to me; it warms my heart when I can express my love for him by showing him that I was thinking about him and went out of my way to have something ready in the oven for him just when he came home. The anticipation of this small gesture was on my mind all day as we were baking. He loves apple pie and I just smiled as I was putting the pies together, knowing he would be bouncing around the kitchen, all excited if he were there.